Galatians: Week 4

Galatians 1:18 - 2:2
“Then, after three years, I went up to Jerusalem to get acquainted with Peter and stayed with him fifteen days. I saw none of the other apostles, only James, the Lord’s brother. I assure you before God that what I am writing you is no lie. Later, I went to Syria and Cilicia. I was personally unknown to the churches of Judea that are in Christ. They only heard the report: “The man who formerly persecuted us is now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy.” And they praised God because of me.

Fourteen years later I went up again to Jerusalem, this time with Barnabas. I took Titus along also. I went in response to a revelation and set before them the gosepl that I preach among the Gentiles. But I did this privately to those who seemed to be leaders, for fear that I was running or had run my race in vain.”

First of all, a confession. I don’t have the second half of the passage memorized yet this week. I’ve just forgotten. In some ways, I see how quickly the devil can gain a foothold because I felt a little discouraged, that I would struggle to catch up...so why continue?

What? I mean, we’re talking two verses here, and I’m feeling so behind that I can’t catch up? I still have two days. A verse a day wouldn’t be hard. But that’s where I am. I’ll share a thought about the passage that I have pondered a little, but please don’t think I’ve meditated on it all this week. The positive side of it is that I’m sad about it. I’m sad that I’ve missed out on meditating on a Scripture passage this week. I know that I’ve lost a week of time that I could’ve been growing closer to God that I won’t get back. Don’t worry, I’m not discouraged. Quite the opposite, I’m motivated. I don’t want to miss another week...another day...even another hour. For that, I’m excited. Excited about what the next two days will hold as I meditate on this passage. Anxious for next week’s passage and what lesson He might have for me there. That’s the joy of truly being in the Scripture, isn’t it? Waiting expectantly for what He wants to teach me, how He wants to grow me. I can’t wait.

As for this passage, what struck me was a comment my friend Beth made during our Bible study. Do you think you could praise God for someone who formerly persecuted you who was now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy? I think I’d have a hard time. If Osama Bin Laden suddenly became a Christian and began sharing the Gospel, would I rejoice? I’d have a hard time with that. I’d still want him to suffer for what he had done. I wouldn’t really want his sins to be forgiven and to spend eternity with him by my side in heaven. Mother Theresa? yes. Billy Graham? yes. Bono? yes. Osama Bin Laden? Nope, not really.

But Jesus came to die for our sins, period. Not for certain sins - the nice ones, the ones that aren’t so bad. All sins. Any sins. Sin is sin. It’s what separates us from God, even the so-called small ones. Luke says “I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” (Luke 15:7, NIV). Paul needed Jesus. I need Jesus. Osama needs Jesus. And when a sinner repents, I want to join in the celebration.

PS - My friend Bekah, has a somewhat related post over at Xanga on forgiveness.

Mount Hermon: Follow Up

Where do I even begin? I don’t know exactly how to sum up in words everything I learned and experienced. For me, this conference was more about spiritual growth and myself as a writer than it was specifically about the craft of writing or the publishing industry. But as I mentioned before, I think it was a necessary part of my journey in being a writer. I walk away from the conference with three main things:
1) New friendships that I am excited about growing and deepening
2) A heart focused on writing for God’s glory and not for publishing. Yes, I would love to be published one day. However, the difference now is that it’s not about seeing my name or my words in print, but having the opportunity to share God’s story to a wider audience. I am also at a place where if that audience is an audience of one, then that’s exactly what God intended and it still means He wants me to write.
3) An awareness that sin in my life prohibits the flow of words from my pen. Jesus cannot overflow out of a heart that is barricaded by sin. That definitely means that my time with Jesus takes priority over my time writing. Any time spent writing apart from Him, is wasted anyway.

Not directly from the conference, but definitely as a by-product, I’m also starting a writer’s group with my friend TJ and a couple other girls from my church. I am way excited about that, as it has been my desire since the last Mount Hermon I attended. I’m also excited to already be considering going to Mount Hermon again next year. We’ll just see.

I wanted to type up all my notes from specific sessions and our keynote speaker for you, but I’m trying to wrap this all up in the next ten minutes, so let me share this in closing. Our keynote speaker, Dick Foth, shared a story with us about a friend who had a stroke. While his speech and his mind never fully returned (he suffered from total amnesia as well), the Word of God he had memorized and the songs about Jesus he knew remained. Dick’s point? The Word of God penetrates deeper than even the core of the brain. I want to write words that have eternal significance. I’m not satisfied with words that end at the core of the brain; I want them to penetrate deeper. Not for my glory, but that His glory might be declared to all nations and His righteousness among all peoples.

Here’s a link to little slideshow of most of my pictures from Mount Hermon. Hope you enjoy.

PS - I have one last interview to post from Mount Hermon. I'll get it up this week.

Renewal

I am currently at the women’s retreat for my church, and the theme is “renewal.” We attended sessions on renewing your heart, your strength and your mind. Now I sit here during a private time allotted to renew my soul, and I’m left to ponder what that word renewal really means to me, today, at this point in my life. Truth be told, I didn’t come here because of the topic. Oh, it sounded interesting enough, but I came for the fellowship and for the pure fact that it is the first women’s retreat for our church and I wanted to be a part. But I also came with baggage. I’m used to being a part of events, if not the planner. It’s difficult for me to sit on the sidelines and not do anything. I thrive on being involved, being helpful...and doing, doing, doing. For this event, however, I was only marginally involved - and my small part was due more to the fact that I hounded my friend who was planning it to give me a job. As it got closer to time, I realized that I was feeling kind of bitter. I suppose my feelings were hurt. It made it worse to have people begin asking me their questions, as if I knew. So I came with a critical eye and a dramatic flare. In my mind I exaggerated the weather (albeit pretty nasty) and the effect it would have. I started looking for things that could’ve been done better (and presumably would have been if I was more involved...ouch that hurts to confess!). What is my deal? Here, I just worked on some of these very issues of envy and acceptance at Mount Hermon. I was naive to think that God ripped it all out and I wouldn’t have to deal with it for a while.

So renewal, for me, has come in the form of this. Lord, I need you to renew my heart and my mind. I need you to give me the desires of my heart, because the desires that are there are definitely not yours. I need you to renew my mind to think on things of eternal significance, not on earthly gain. Father, help me to discern when I am trying to win the approval of man or of you. Or when I am trying to please man. Lord, when I am still trying to please man, I am not being your servant. I want to be your servant. I want to be open to your use. Father, set aside my old self and help me claim my new self. Help me to be renewed today.

(PS - I realize that some people from my church are now reading my blog - which I love. I don’t want this to come across the wrong way. In the spirit of authenticity, I’m still going to post this. But please don’t think it’s an attempt to gain pity or make anyone feel bad. Obviously, God needed to do some work in my heart, and that’s what I wanted to share.)

Photo: Retreat Center (2007)