Mount Hermon: Follow Up

Where do I even begin? I don’t know exactly how to sum up in words everything I learned and experienced. For me, this conference was more about spiritual growth and myself as a writer than it was specifically about the craft of writing or the publishing industry. But as I mentioned before, I think it was a necessary part of my journey in being a writer. I walk away from the conference with three main things:
1) New friendships that I am excited about growing and deepening
2) A heart focused on writing for God’s glory and not for publishing. Yes, I would love to be published one day. However, the difference now is that it’s not about seeing my name or my words in print, but having the opportunity to share God’s story to a wider audience. I am also at a place where if that audience is an audience of one, then that’s exactly what God intended and it still means He wants me to write.
3) An awareness that sin in my life prohibits the flow of words from my pen. Jesus cannot overflow out of a heart that is barricaded by sin. That definitely means that my time with Jesus takes priority over my time writing. Any time spent writing apart from Him, is wasted anyway.

Not directly from the conference, but definitely as a by-product, I’m also starting a writer’s group with my friend TJ and a couple other girls from my church. I am way excited about that, as it has been my desire since the last Mount Hermon I attended. I’m also excited to already be considering going to Mount Hermon again next year. We’ll just see.

I wanted to type up all my notes from specific sessions and our keynote speaker for you, but I’m trying to wrap this all up in the next ten minutes, so let me share this in closing. Our keynote speaker, Dick Foth, shared a story with us about a friend who had a stroke. While his speech and his mind never fully returned (he suffered from total amnesia as well), the Word of God he had memorized and the songs about Jesus he knew remained. Dick’s point? The Word of God penetrates deeper than even the core of the brain. I want to write words that have eternal significance. I’m not satisfied with words that end at the core of the brain; I want them to penetrate deeper. Not for my glory, but that His glory might be declared to all nations and His righteousness among all peoples.

Here’s a link to little slideshow of most of my pictures from Mount Hermon. Hope you enjoy.

PS - I have one last interview to post from Mount Hermon. I'll get it up this week.

Mount Hermon: Some learnings

Here are a few thoughts as my conference comes to a close. I promise to have more detailed updates once I get home, and a few more interviews.

1) To truly find my contentment and acceptance in Christ, and nothing else. I truly feel God changed my heart in a way I’ve never been changed before and uprooted seeds of envy and self-doubt.
2) To let my writing be the result of my heart, overflowing out onto the page. Not only does this require me to write about what stirs my heart, but it refocuses me on ministry, rather than publication.
3) To ensure my writing points my reader(s) to the eternal. Writing about anything else is insignificant.
4) To put on my eye makeup. I’ve never really known how to do it with more than one color. My mother in law gave me this beautiful compact with four shades in it, and I stare at it in bewilderment. Now I’m experimenting and having fun!

5) That sin can be a lid that contains my writing and prevents the outpouring of my heart. I must deal with it to be effective in my writing.

Night night!

Photo: Flower outside of Central Lounge, Mount Hermon, CA (2007)

Mount Hermon: Day Three - Eternity and Passion

I tried to select one theme for today, but I just couldn’t narrow it down past two. Speaker after speaker reminded me to keep an eternal perspective. Certainly that’s valuable to remember in light of rejections and tough feedback, but even more importantly as I approach my writing. As Dick Foth mentioned last night, the truth of what we speak is of eternal significance. If what we are writing is not, then why should I write it? My goal as a writer is not to be published. It’s to point people toward the eternal. If I stay focused on that, then I allow myself to be used by God for whatever His purposes are. I so often try to usurp control and focus on worldly things like success, fame...acceptance. But God desires to use me and He blessed me with talents (because what He calls me to do, He equips me to do) to glorify Him. I don’t want to bury mine in the ground, or spend all my time complaining and comparing.

The second reminder I heard multiple times today was to write what I’m passionate about. We get distracted by trends or numbers (or whatever), and sometimes stray from what burns in our hearts. I am passionate about building relationships, with a special place for families, but I often feel discouraged in writing about those topics because I think I lack credibility. Hearing this theme repeatedly today affirmed for me that I should write about them.

I carried that theme into the interviews I conducted today. I’ll summarize my learnings from the major morning track and the evening general session in a separate post (probably tomorrow...too tired now).

Photo: Waterfall at Mount Hermon (2007)

Mount Hermon: Day Two - Service

The recurring theme for me today was service. My writing is a gift from God to serve in ministry. The outcome of my writing may or may not be a book. My service may be to write encouraging notes to people I encounter. But the point is, I am supposed to serve others with my written words. I don’t think this theme is completely revolutionary to me, but I constantly need to be reminded of my true and only purpose.

My day began lazily, with no real events until after lunch. I spent my time choosing my workshops, catching up with my friends (did I mention we’re in the “party cabin”?) and responding to some emails. After lunch, I rebelled and skipped orientation to take a walk and shoot some photos. I’ll include a few of my favorites at the end of this entry.

Kim Bangs, of Regal Books, facilitated my first workshop, entitled “Dream Big: Taking a Concept/Idea to Developed Writing Idea.” I loved her enthusiasm and encouragement, particularly as she reminded us not to apologize for our ideas. Her workshop started my recurring theme when she said “Your main reason for writing is to serve the God who gives us the gift to write.” She questioned whether or not the eleven brothers in the story of Joseph missed their destiny because they got hung up on Joseph’s destiny. This idea fit perfectly with the discussion I’m preparing on envy for women in my church. Sometimes we are so consumed by the gifts God bestowed on others that we fail to use the gifts He granted us to serve. So timely!

I questioned whether or not I would enjoy our keynote speaker, Dick Foth, because I did not know who he was. After listening to him tonight, I realized how wrong I was to doubt. He engaged the audience with his humor and stories, but delivered a powerful message about Jesus. Again, he emphasized the eternal impact our writing can have on others and our need to focus on that. He entitled his series “Writing in the Sand and Other Things Eternal.” In referencing John 8, where Jesus deals with the Pharisees and the adulteress they want to stone, Foth said that Jesus engaged people - for just a moment - and made an eternal impact. Like writing in the sand, our writing is a vapor. But the truth of what we write will be of eternal significance. What we write must point people to Jesus. He then explored the simplicity of Jesus. He noted that people often warn us not to take anything away from who Jesus is, but he felt we are more inclined to add things to Jesus. He gave a wonderful illustration using a bottle of water and a bottle of coke. Water is simple; it’s two hydrogen and one carbon. It is vital to our existence, and our body is largely made up of it. Coke contains water, but has an extremely complicated formula. We bathe in water, not in coke. We wash with water, not with Coke. Why? Because water is cleansing and Coke leaves behind a bunch of junk. If you go without water for more than five days, you can die. If you drink too much Coke, it can be toxic to our health. Jesus is the water, simple and yet life-giving, cleansing and vitally important. When we add things to Jesus, like we do to make Coke, we get a bunch of junk...and can even make Him toxic. Keep in mind, however, His simplicity is profound. Our total dependence on Him is the only way we will have an eternal impact on the hearts of others.

In the coming days, I hope to do three things with my blog: 1) share with you some of my main take-aways from the sessions (like I did above), 2) provide you with some interviews of people I meet here so you can get to know some of the awesome friends I’m making, and 3) if you’re a writer, encourage you in your writing and share any tidbits of information that might help you.

As promised, here are the pictures.

Exodus 4:11-12

My heart rate increased with each email I read.

"Sorry, I already have roommates."
Pit pat.

"No, I'm not going this year."
Pit pat. Pit pat.

"Someone else asked me already."
Pitter patter.

"I'm not going either."
Pitter patter. Pitter patter.

My heart sank. That was the last of them. Everyone I knew either wasn't going to Mount Hermon this year or already had a roommate. Tears welled up in my eyes. My immediate feeling was one of isolation and rejection. Doubt crept into my mind: does anyone really like me? They probably don't view me as a real writer (am I?). I don't blame them for wanting to be with other real writers. Maybe I shouldn't go. I haven't actually purchased my plane ticket yet. I could not go and only be out the $75 deposit. Is this a sign? I don't really have anything to write that is worth reading anyway. Why did I ever think my topic ideas were relevant or even interesting? Or that anyone would bother reading them? Honestly, do I really think I'm any good at writing? My entire support system crumbled underneath me. How could I make it through five days with real professional (published!) writers on my own? I reduced myself to a little girl trying to dress up in her mom's clothing. I was completely out of my league, and silly for thinking I might possibly belong.

My daughter woke up in the other room, screaming, so I went in to attend to her. As I rocked her back to sleep, I cried out to the Lord.

Why did I even think I should go? What are you doing to me, Lord? How can I make it through this conference by myself?

Depend on me.

I'm trying Lord, but it's so hard. I feel completely inadequate. I've been deluding myself into thinking that I actually had something worth writing, worth reading. Why would anyone even care about what I've written?

They won't. Your words and ideas are not that important. They are not good enough to attract the attention of editors, publishers or even readers. But my words are.

Conviction began replacing my doubts. It's a battle I constantly face: pride and self reliance versus total dependence on Him. I get caught up in thinking I have these wonderful things to impart and others should want to listen to me. I stray from the giver of words and wisdom, forgetting that apart from Him I am nothing. God placed the desire to write in my heart, but He never intended for me to fulfill that desire myself.

My prayer that night, and hopefully throughout my writing career (whatever that may eventually look like) became one of humility.

Lord, I want to be open to your words and your ideas. Speak through me Lord, and don't let my words and thoughts get mixed up into your words and thoughts. Let every single word I pen be for Your glory, not mine. Let every word someone reads from my hand point back to You. I want my goal in writing to be declaring your glory among the nations and your name to all people. Help me not to lose sight of the reason why you have called me to write.

Photo: Mount Hermon entourage, 2006