5/25/06

Good news for Dads...

Many women have told me that they started losing their memory when they were pregnant, and it only got worse when they actually had kids. I've decided this is, in fact, true and I've used this reasoning to explain many of my forgetful or silly actions since becoming a mother.

However, what is not talked about is that Dads, too, seem to be affected by this brain shrinkage. I'll give you two examples of what I mean (and I did get permission to share!)

Case #1: It's the middle of the night. M wakes up, crying. My husband, being the amazing man that he is, usually takes night duty so I can sleep. I hear her; he doesn't. I nudge him.
"Do you want me to get her this time?"
"No, I've got her"...And he removes the covers like he's going to get up...but he lays there. She cries harder.
"Babe, get up and get her or I'll go."
"Okay, okay. I've got it." And still he lays there. And she cries louder.
...and then he begins to pat his stomach. Pat, pat, pat.
"What are you doing??"
"Oh. Whoops." And he finally gets up.

Case #2: Again, the middle of the night. M wakes up, crying. I'm pretty sure she's hungry because she didn't eat well at dinner time (since she's been sick).
"Do you want me to go get her? She needs to eat."
"No, I've got her." And he gets up out of bed and starts walking toward the door (yea!) But as he reaches the door, he turns around and starts walking back toward me...with his palms facing up and out toward me. Crying continues in the other room.
"What are you doing??"
"Well, she has this pillow that she normally likes, but, here. I'll give her to you now... " At which point he extends his arms out toward me, like he's handing our child over.
Again, "What are you doing??"
"Oh. I dont know."
And the next morning, he had no recollection of this late night occurrence.

So dads, listen up! I have good news for you. You can use the I-lost-part-of-my-brain-through-pregnancy-and-parenthood reason too!

boys can be so gross...

You know, I watch those commercials where a couple is getting ready and the girl points out a stain on the boy's shirt, and while she's off finding a new shirt for him, he puts on a tie to try to cover it up - or where she asks him if he wants to get changed before they go out and so he stands up and turns his shirt inside out...and I think, I know that's the stereotype, but are most boys really like that? After a recent conversation with some friends, I have concluded that YES, boys ARE really like that.

It all started when one of the guys was telling a story about a time when he was buying a Speedo and had to go try it on (that's another story in and of itself!). As he was describing the whole ordeal, one question kept plaguing me. Finally, I asked.
"So, when you say you tried it on, how exactly do boys try on Speedos?" (because I'm thinking, do you wear whitey-tighties when you know you're going to try on a Speedo? do you just try it on over your boxers?)
"What do you mean? I just tried it on."
At which point another girlfriend jumped in and explained.
"Well, when girls try on swimsuits, the rule is posted in the dressing rooms that you must try on over your underwear."

Blank stare.

"And we even have these protective strips in the bottom of the swimsuit."

More blank stares.

And then my friend asks what all of us girls are thinking:
"Don't you even wonder about whose crotch has been where yours is right now?"
"Nope, not really."
"Well, you at least washed it before you wore it, right?"
"Huh?"

Now I'm sure my male friends are reading this completely confused at why I would even devote a blog to this topic. But you girls understand what I'm saying, right?

Yet another way that girls and boys are different...very different.