Renewal

I am currently at the women’s retreat for my church, and the theme is “renewal.” We attended sessions on renewing your heart, your strength and your mind. Now I sit here during a private time allotted to renew my soul, and I’m left to ponder what that word renewal really means to me, today, at this point in my life. Truth be told, I didn’t come here because of the topic. Oh, it sounded interesting enough, but I came for the fellowship and for the pure fact that it is the first women’s retreat for our church and I wanted to be a part. But I also came with baggage. I’m used to being a part of events, if not the planner. It’s difficult for me to sit on the sidelines and not do anything. I thrive on being involved, being helpful...and doing, doing, doing. For this event, however, I was only marginally involved - and my small part was due more to the fact that I hounded my friend who was planning it to give me a job. As it got closer to time, I realized that I was feeling kind of bitter. I suppose my feelings were hurt. It made it worse to have people begin asking me their questions, as if I knew. So I came with a critical eye and a dramatic flare. In my mind I exaggerated the weather (albeit pretty nasty) and the effect it would have. I started looking for things that could’ve been done better (and presumably would have been if I was more involved...ouch that hurts to confess!). What is my deal? Here, I just worked on some of these very issues of envy and acceptance at Mount Hermon. I was naive to think that God ripped it all out and I wouldn’t have to deal with it for a while.

So renewal, for me, has come in the form of this. Lord, I need you to renew my heart and my mind. I need you to give me the desires of my heart, because the desires that are there are definitely not yours. I need you to renew my mind to think on things of eternal significance, not on earthly gain. Father, help me to discern when I am trying to win the approval of man or of you. Or when I am trying to please man. Lord, when I am still trying to please man, I am not being your servant. I want to be your servant. I want to be open to your use. Father, set aside my old self and help me claim my new self. Help me to be renewed today.

(PS - I realize that some people from my church are now reading my blog - which I love. I don’t want this to come across the wrong way. In the spirit of authenticity, I’m still going to post this. But please don’t think it’s an attempt to gain pity or make anyone feel bad. Obviously, God needed to do some work in my heart, and that’s what I wanted to share.)

Photo: Retreat Center (2007)

Mount Hermon: More Photos

A few more photos to share, while I'm working on a wrap-up blog about the experience.

No conference is complete without it. Particularly when you're attending prayer and praise at 7:15am each morning. Llama Momma, this one's for you.

I'm guessing you've noticed by now that I like to take pictures of flowers...

This circle of trees created a natural chapel. Gorgeous.

A conferee. No, just kidding of course. He was our keynote speaker. Ha!

Okay, really there were people at the conference, not just flowers and wild animals. Me and my friend TJ. Is this the first picture I've ever posted of myself on here? (pondering whether or not to go through with posting it)

The party cabin: TJ, me, Jeanne, Leslie, Mary

Galatians: Week 2

Galatians 1:6-10

I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel, which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we, or an angel from heaven, should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! As we have alraedy said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned! Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

I've just started memorizing this section (again), and it's not coming back as easily as the first five verses. I actually must be intentional about memorizing it, which is probably better anyway. Here are a few thoughts that strike me about this passage.

1) I am ASTONISHED...I want to be in the place where Paul is - so in love with Jesus and following hard after his teachings that it would astonish him that someone was distracted by a different gospel. Personally, I get distracted all the time, so it's not really astonishing to me to think about it happening to others. But Paul can't even imagine why someone would desert Christ because he is walking so closely with him - and may I go so far as to say, experiencing the abundant life that Christ had for him. I need to get to that place.

2) Okay, it might be just me, but I'm thinking Paul was serious in his admonition to pay attention to the gospel being preached. Eternal condemnation doesn't sound fun to me. Of course, in this text he warns the Galatians to beware of those "throwing them into confusion" but I like that he then switches focus momentarily to warn those who are doing the throwing into confusion. In the same way, we need to test the preaching that we hear against the Word, AND we need to be careful about the gospel we spread as well.

3) The last verse in this section is one I think of often. It's easy for me to get caught up in focusing on the approval of man...and it's definitely something I crave. But it's not eternally significant, and that's the type of impact I want to make. I can't please man and be a servant of Christ at the same time. Sure, sometimes it coincides, but pleasing man should be a pleasant by-product, not my focus.

Anyone have any thoughts on this passage they want to share?

Catching Up

I still feel like I'm catching up from being gone for nearly a week. And while I want to go back and bring myself back up to speed, the thought of it exhausts me to the point of not wanting to do anything. I'm trying to get there, but we'll see how it goes this week. I still haven't even finished our taxes! Hang with me. My normal self should be back sometime soon. Hopefully.

Galatians: Week 1

The verses for this week are Galatians 1:1-5 "Paul, an apostle, sent not from men nor by man, but by Jesus Christ and God the Father who raised him from the dead, and all the brothers with me to the churches in Galatia: Grace and peace to you in God our Father and Jesus Christ who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from this present evil age, according to the will of the Father to whom be the glory forever and ever, amen."

Next week, I'll post some reflections on this memorization and the sermon. This week I'm still catching up on everything from being gone.

An Interview wtih Marilynn Griffith

At Mount Hermon, I had the opportunity to meet some amazing people, with wonderful stories to tell. I first saw Marilyn from across the room, and her smile immediately captured my attention. Her warmth and laughter attracted me, and I was determined to meet her at some point. I had the privilege of sitting at her table during lunch one day, and I asked her for an interview. I hope you enjoy getting to know Marilynn a little bit. I am currently reading her first book Pink in the Shades of Style series.

Marilynn Griffith
Freelancer, married for 16 years, has 7 kids, written for 7 years

What is your passion in life? Being a good friend, helping people be good friends, learning how to juggle all these things of womanhood (being a mom, a sister, an aunt, etc) and maintaining some sense of self, helping others figure out how to hold onto family and Jesus in one hand and their dreams in another.

How have you managed to do that in your life? I have a great husband. I enlist my kids to work with me as a team. Everyone works together as family; we see it as a family business. My kids participate in achieving those goals, so when a check comes in the mail we all celebrate.

What do they think about being a part of those goals? Sometimes they get tired of it, but really they love it. They give books to their teachers. When people ask them what their mom does, they love it to say I’m a writer. Of course, it has its ups and downs.

How has writing affected your spiritual life? Wow. I think that I didn’t realize how safe I was as a Christian. My writing voice wasn’t established as a christian, so my writing was raw but Jesus was there. I didn’t realize how many safe things I implemented in my life. I discovered a bigger Jesus - scary, but good, even though everything doesn’t always have a happy ending. God is still there, even if you don’t get anything you prayer for. It was a big self-discovery.

As Palm Sunday approaches, how do you celebrate Christ’s entrance into your life? At home we would attend a sunrise service. As a child, we used to even receive palm branches and wave them. I use the time to look back on the year and meditate on all the things God is showing me. It’s like a guidepost to stop at and evaluate whether I am moving toward Jesus or coming away. It’s a sort of new year, and a chance to give back that lordship that I might have taken.

Anything additional you’d like to add? I love to meet new people and hear from people. So if you are interested in reaching me, you can find me at my website: http://www.marilyngriffith.com or email me at marilynngriffith@gmail.com.

An Interview with Kay Marshall Strom

I met Kay two years ago, at my first Mount Hermon conference. She encouraged me greatly with her heart for the global Body of Christ, and her courage to travel around the world to gather the stories of persecuted women. She's written an awesome book called Daughters of Hope that I highly recommend. I'm pleased to introduce to you, Kay Strom.

Kay Marshall Strom
Freelancer, married for 8 years, written for 20 years, currently in Santa Barbara, CA

What is your passion in life? Actually, it has come out of my writing. My passion at this time is letting believers in this country know that they are part of the global family of God. They need us as much as we need them. It pains me that we don’t realize we’re part of a bigger family. Being a part of the Body does not just mean that we need to help our brothers and sisters around the world, but to realize that we need them just as much. We think we’re just depriving them, but really we are depriving ourselves, too. And we are depriving the Body of God.

How did this come about? That’s actually an interesting story. I love to read historical biographies. I was reading the story of Marie Antoinette. It’s amazing, she’s not as hard hearted as we think; she was just totally clueless. She had all the royal people over for a banquet, and there was so much food the tables were sagging - all while people in Paris were starving. After everyone left, she turned to the Emperor and said, “Let’s not throw away all this food, let’s spread the leftovers on the sidewalk.” As they stood and watched the people lick the sidewalk so as not to waste anything, she said “We are so good for the poor; they should love us.” The poor people of France heard this, clenched their fist and resolved to have her head. A week later, 9/11 occurred. At church on Sunday, an elder in church stood up and talked about the need to pray for the families of those who had lost their lives. Then he shared that he didn’t know how this could happen. “We are so good to the world, everyone should love us.” And I thought, we’re just like Marie Antoinette, and the world is going to have our heads. That became the inspiration to write Daughters of Hope (Kay’s book sharing stories of women around the world who are persecuted for their faith). I was in India interviewing women for my book, and as I normally closed my interviews, I asked if there was anything else someone would like to say to me. They asked me if I had ever been kicked out of my house for being a Christian, thrown rocks at, persecuted, hated, denied food for being a Christian. I answered, “No, we just don’t face that type of attack in the US.” Then they asked me if we did have to suffer, would we still be Christians? And I thought for a long time, and didn’t know how to answer. They said they would pray for strength for us. They would pray that if we did have to face persecution that we would endure it. And they asked me to tell everyone I spoke to that they were praying for them. When I am asked to speak - even at Rotary meetings - I share their story.

How has your writing affected your walk? It has changed it totally. It has changed my perspective on life and death, on my purpose in being here. The biggest battle is being patient with others. I know other people haven’t been where I’ve been. We complain about things here, but we’re so fixated on the wrong things. It is so hard to be patient with what I see in the American church. When you go and see, you can’t come back and be the same. I will never to my dying day, get out of my mind the pictures of the people in Sudan - the most wonderful people in the world - who bounced back despite the most incredible things. When I talked with them, they asked me, “Does anyone care about us?” No one asked me for money, they asked me to pray for them. They requested we pray for their children that they will stay firm to the faith (aka be willing to die, be persecuted). When we left them, they ran behind our bus as fast as they could for as long as they could keep up, saying “Pray for us” and then they disappeared into a cloud of dust. I still see that image in my mind. If only we would truly partner with our brothers and sisters around the world.

As Palm Sunday approaches, how do you celebrate Christ’s entrance into your life? I remember reading through the Bible as a 13 year old, trying to figure out how to get it all together, when I came to Micah 6:6-7, “With what shall I come to the Lord and bow myself before the God on high? Shall I come to Him with burnt offerings, With yearling calves? Does the LORD take delight in thousands of rams, In ten thousand rivers of oil? Shall I present my firstborn for my rebellious acts, The fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?” And then comes the answer in verse 8. “He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?” That’s how I celebrate and pray to celebrate - to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with my God.

Mount Hermon: Some learnings

Here are a few thoughts as my conference comes to a close. I promise to have more detailed updates once I get home, and a few more interviews.

1) To truly find my contentment and acceptance in Christ, and nothing else. I truly feel God changed my heart in a way I’ve never been changed before and uprooted seeds of envy and self-doubt.
2) To let my writing be the result of my heart, overflowing out onto the page. Not only does this require me to write about what stirs my heart, but it refocuses me on ministry, rather than publication.
3) To ensure my writing points my reader(s) to the eternal. Writing about anything else is insignificant.
4) To put on my eye makeup. I’ve never really known how to do it with more than one color. My mother in law gave me this beautiful compact with four shades in it, and I stare at it in bewilderment. Now I’m experimenting and having fun!

5) That sin can be a lid that contains my writing and prevents the outpouring of my heart. I must deal with it to be effective in my writing.

Night night!

Photo: Flower outside of Central Lounge, Mount Hermon, CA (2007)

Mount Hermon: Day Four - Authenticity

My theme today is authenticity, and I have so much to share about what God revealed to me and how he has grown me. However, in the spirit of being authentic, I have to say I'm exhausted - physically and emotionally. I'll write more tomorrow, so stay tuned.

Photo: Flower on the way to Editor's Panel, Mount Hermon (2007)

Mount Hermon: Day Three - Eternity and Passion

I tried to select one theme for today, but I just couldn’t narrow it down past two. Speaker after speaker reminded me to keep an eternal perspective. Certainly that’s valuable to remember in light of rejections and tough feedback, but even more importantly as I approach my writing. As Dick Foth mentioned last night, the truth of what we speak is of eternal significance. If what we are writing is not, then why should I write it? My goal as a writer is not to be published. It’s to point people toward the eternal. If I stay focused on that, then I allow myself to be used by God for whatever His purposes are. I so often try to usurp control and focus on worldly things like success, fame...acceptance. But God desires to use me and He blessed me with talents (because what He calls me to do, He equips me to do) to glorify Him. I don’t want to bury mine in the ground, or spend all my time complaining and comparing.

The second reminder I heard multiple times today was to write what I’m passionate about. We get distracted by trends or numbers (or whatever), and sometimes stray from what burns in our hearts. I am passionate about building relationships, with a special place for families, but I often feel discouraged in writing about those topics because I think I lack credibility. Hearing this theme repeatedly today affirmed for me that I should write about them.

I carried that theme into the interviews I conducted today. I’ll summarize my learnings from the major morning track and the evening general session in a separate post (probably tomorrow...too tired now).

Photo: Waterfall at Mount Hermon (2007)