Envy

I gave a little talk last night on envy, and I thought it might be interesting to post some of my notes here. It’s amazing to see how much envy invades our lives; more than I ever realized before I started studying it this past month. As one lady pointed out after our meeting, many of our tragedies in society - like Virginia Tech - stem from envy taken to its extreme. The root of envy is comparison. We determine our value, our self worth, the quality of our life, the amount and goodness of our blessings by comparison. Envy robs us of the abundant life God desires us to have. We miss out on how God has blessed us - with gifts, with relationships, with provision...and how He wants to use that to bring glory to Himself.

Simply put, the answer to envy is contentment. I've added a few thoughts below on how to practically address envy.

1) Repent. Acknowledge the emotion when it arises. Call it as it is. Confess it as sin, and pray to God.
James 3:14-16: But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. (NIV)

2) Remind yourself that God has given you every thing needed for your life.
2 Peter 1:3-4: ...seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that you May become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust.
Hebrews 13:20: And now, may the God of peace, who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, all that is pleasing to him. (MSG)

3) Refocus your eyes on God, not yourself and those around you. Stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t miss out on what God has blessed you with because you’re busy concentrating on the blessings of others.
Galatians 6:4-5: Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load. (NIV)

4) Rejoice. Befriend your rival. Try to see him or her as a person, not the competition. Celebrate success with them; it’s not about winning and losing - it’s about advancing the Kingdom...and any advance is worth celebrating.
Luke 15:7: I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. (NIV)

5) React. It might be to pray or memorize a verse. It might be to plan ahead in instances when you can. Maybe it’s to establish an accountability partner or confess your envy to the person you envy.
Proverbs 14:30: A sound heart is life to the body, But envy is rottenness to the bones. (NKJV)

Any tips to add on how to deal with envy? I'd love to hear them.

Renewal

I am currently at the women’s retreat for my church, and the theme is “renewal.” We attended sessions on renewing your heart, your strength and your mind. Now I sit here during a private time allotted to renew my soul, and I’m left to ponder what that word renewal really means to me, today, at this point in my life. Truth be told, I didn’t come here because of the topic. Oh, it sounded interesting enough, but I came for the fellowship and for the pure fact that it is the first women’s retreat for our church and I wanted to be a part. But I also came with baggage. I’m used to being a part of events, if not the planner. It’s difficult for me to sit on the sidelines and not do anything. I thrive on being involved, being helpful...and doing, doing, doing. For this event, however, I was only marginally involved - and my small part was due more to the fact that I hounded my friend who was planning it to give me a job. As it got closer to time, I realized that I was feeling kind of bitter. I suppose my feelings were hurt. It made it worse to have people begin asking me their questions, as if I knew. So I came with a critical eye and a dramatic flare. In my mind I exaggerated the weather (albeit pretty nasty) and the effect it would have. I started looking for things that could’ve been done better (and presumably would have been if I was more involved...ouch that hurts to confess!). What is my deal? Here, I just worked on some of these very issues of envy and acceptance at Mount Hermon. I was naive to think that God ripped it all out and I wouldn’t have to deal with it for a while.

So renewal, for me, has come in the form of this. Lord, I need you to renew my heart and my mind. I need you to give me the desires of my heart, because the desires that are there are definitely not yours. I need you to renew my mind to think on things of eternal significance, not on earthly gain. Father, help me to discern when I am trying to win the approval of man or of you. Or when I am trying to please man. Lord, when I am still trying to please man, I am not being your servant. I want to be your servant. I want to be open to your use. Father, set aside my old self and help me claim my new self. Help me to be renewed today.

(PS - I realize that some people from my church are now reading my blog - which I love. I don’t want this to come across the wrong way. In the spirit of authenticity, I’m still going to post this. But please don’t think it’s an attempt to gain pity or make anyone feel bad. Obviously, God needed to do some work in my heart, and that’s what I wanted to share.)

Photo: Retreat Center (2007)

Mount Hermon: Day Two - Service

The recurring theme for me today was service. My writing is a gift from God to serve in ministry. The outcome of my writing may or may not be a book. My service may be to write encouraging notes to people I encounter. But the point is, I am supposed to serve others with my written words. I don’t think this theme is completely revolutionary to me, but I constantly need to be reminded of my true and only purpose.

My day began lazily, with no real events until after lunch. I spent my time choosing my workshops, catching up with my friends (did I mention we’re in the “party cabin”?) and responding to some emails. After lunch, I rebelled and skipped orientation to take a walk and shoot some photos. I’ll include a few of my favorites at the end of this entry.

Kim Bangs, of Regal Books, facilitated my first workshop, entitled “Dream Big: Taking a Concept/Idea to Developed Writing Idea.” I loved her enthusiasm and encouragement, particularly as she reminded us not to apologize for our ideas. Her workshop started my recurring theme when she said “Your main reason for writing is to serve the God who gives us the gift to write.” She questioned whether or not the eleven brothers in the story of Joseph missed their destiny because they got hung up on Joseph’s destiny. This idea fit perfectly with the discussion I’m preparing on envy for women in my church. Sometimes we are so consumed by the gifts God bestowed on others that we fail to use the gifts He granted us to serve. So timely!

I questioned whether or not I would enjoy our keynote speaker, Dick Foth, because I did not know who he was. After listening to him tonight, I realized how wrong I was to doubt. He engaged the audience with his humor and stories, but delivered a powerful message about Jesus. Again, he emphasized the eternal impact our writing can have on others and our need to focus on that. He entitled his series “Writing in the Sand and Other Things Eternal.” In referencing John 8, where Jesus deals with the Pharisees and the adulteress they want to stone, Foth said that Jesus engaged people - for just a moment - and made an eternal impact. Like writing in the sand, our writing is a vapor. But the truth of what we write will be of eternal significance. What we write must point people to Jesus. He then explored the simplicity of Jesus. He noted that people often warn us not to take anything away from who Jesus is, but he felt we are more inclined to add things to Jesus. He gave a wonderful illustration using a bottle of water and a bottle of coke. Water is simple; it’s two hydrogen and one carbon. It is vital to our existence, and our body is largely made up of it. Coke contains water, but has an extremely complicated formula. We bathe in water, not in coke. We wash with water, not with Coke. Why? Because water is cleansing and Coke leaves behind a bunch of junk. If you go without water for more than five days, you can die. If you drink too much Coke, it can be toxic to our health. Jesus is the water, simple and yet life-giving, cleansing and vitally important. When we add things to Jesus, like we do to make Coke, we get a bunch of junk...and can even make Him toxic. Keep in mind, however, His simplicity is profound. Our total dependence on Him is the only way we will have an eternal impact on the hearts of others.

In the coming days, I hope to do three things with my blog: 1) share with you some of my main take-aways from the sessions (like I did above), 2) provide you with some interviews of people I meet here so you can get to know some of the awesome friends I’m making, and 3) if you’re a writer, encourage you in your writing and share any tidbits of information that might help you.

As promised, here are the pictures.

Book Review - Watching the Tree Limbs

It’s been a while since I sat down to read a book that I could not put down. Watching the Tree Limbs is exactly that type of book. Author Mary DeMuth hooked me from the moment the book opens with “Folks like my friend Camilla have lofty goals before they die, like stealing a kiss from a movie star or seeing the Sahara. Mine’s quite simple. I want to tell my story unsevered, as if it was actually me walking the sweltering pavement of Burl, Texas.” Half-way through the book, I purchased the sequel because I knew that I was not going to be able to wait to start the next one once I finished.

What I love about Mary’s storytelling is that she paints a poignant, beautiful picture of redemption and Christ’s unconditional love without feeling like it’s preachy or spoken with an ulterior motive. Certainly, Mary desires to share her faith through her words, but she chooses to show, rather than tell. The redemption story is so woven into the development of the characters and the movement of the book, that you can’t separate it out and say, “here’s the author’s agenda.” In fact, it’s the way I think my friend Mary lives her life: you can’t say, here’s the spiritual part of Mary’s life and here’s the rest. As a result, I feel comfortable - even encourage - recommending this book to non-believers.

But have no doubts, just because it’s “Christian fiction” does not mean that it is not a good story. Mary uses her words like a paintbrush on canvas, encouraging the reader at times to simply marvel at the intricacy of details and overall artistry of the story. I laughed, I cried and I connected with the characters. I couldn’t read fast enough, and yet wanted to savor every word. I won’t share much about the story itself; I’ll leave that to you to experience fresh. Know that Mary addresses some tough issues, and at times she reaches out and squeezes your heart just enough that it aches, but that pain only leads you to a greater appreciation for the redemption offered to the characters in the book (and to us, through Jesus Christ).

Please don’t think I gush just because Mary is my friend. If I thought her book stunk, I would let you know. But I don’t, and knowing her heart just makes it that much sweeter to recommend it to you. Mary graciously agreed to answer a few questions for me to post here, so I will leave you with our short little interview.

1) What has Maranatha taught you about redemption?
She has shown me that it’s possible to be redeemed even when life looks pretty bleak. God stoops best when He stoops to impossible situations like Maranatha’s.

2) What do you hope readers walk away from your book thinking about and feeling?
I hope the story sticks with them, that they can’t get it out of their heads. I hope they’ve been challenged in their perception of God and people. I pray they want to live better, more Jesus-breathed lives, having experienced the lives of the characters in the book.

3) Have you re-read your book since you wrote it? If so, does any character or scene strike you differently or teach you something new? If not, why not?
I’ve re-read the intro. Of course I pick it apart, wondering if I should’ve used this word or that. I recently received an email from a reader who lamented she’d not turned in someone who’d attacked her. I’d forgotten about the courtroom scene where Maranatha does just that. I’m thankful it had an impact, but I also hope that readers will know it’s never easy to tell about abuse.
4) Do you feel like you view life a little differently, now that you have interacted with Maranatha and the characters in WTTL? If yes, how so?
Yes. I always wanted a Zady in my life, but never had one. Now I want to be one. I hope I can be one.

5) On a personal note, what do you feel like God is teaching you during this season of Lent, as we prepare for the glory of Easter morning?
Mainly just the loss of it all. I again am struck with the reason Jesus was crucified. It’s a fascinating study if you look up the word envy or jealousy. Several times in the NT, the Pharisees are seen as being envious of Jesus. We think envy is no big deal, but it’s huge. HUGE. Envy crucified Jesus!