Restoring Community - Part IIIa: Sharing Stories

At Mount Hermon 2007, the keynote speaker, Dick Foth, talked about a concept called “history giving.” He said that we connect with others by sharing our stories. As we give our history to others, we invite them into our lives.

History giving highlights things we have in common, points of natural connection. How many times have you been to a conference or on vacation and started a conversation with a stranger, only to find out you once went to the same school or you know the same person. Instantly, the person no longer feels like a total stranger because you have a common history.

History giving also illuminates things that are unique about us. When we share our life stories, we reveal things about ourselves that people never knew. We provide more information that helps each of us see things from the other person's perspective. We gain a deeper understanding of each other, why we each act or think or talk the way we do.

To truly give our history to another person requires being vulnerable and completely honest. Quite frankly, if we’re going to strive for community, then it must be you and I who initiate the history giving. We must be willing to put ourselves out there, knowing that others may hold what we say against us or think less of us or (gasp!) even not like us. It’s hard, and sometimes the repercussions really hurt. But I firmly believe that if we don’t break the chain of superficiality in relationships, then it will continue. We haven’t really created a safe place for relationships to deepen until we share our lives with others.

Once we’ve begun sharing our stories, we also must be willing to hear the stories of others. Learn to ask questions, and then learn to be quiet and listen. We’ll talk more about this side in a later post.

By the way, I’m sure it’s no coincidence that this topic is being discussed in the blogosphere. Stories are powerful in teaching us, binding us or tearing us apart. Check out LL Barkat (and here), Charity and Lynet’s for more thoughts on stories.

Okay, then. Go forth, be vulnerable and give your history!

Photo: An exciting Saturday afternoon (2007)

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Restoring Community - Part I

I’ve been reading a book by Shane Claiborne entitled The Irresistible Revolution (book review coming as soon as I actually finish it) and many thoughts have begun to swirl in my head, literally keeping me up at night. Among them is this concept of community that keeps coming back to me over and over. Claiborne is a co-founder of a group called The Simple Way. What attracts me to this group is their desire to practically live out what it means to be a follower of Christ, and therefore to be the Church. For them, it involves sharing their resources, viewing each other as family, seeing everyone around them (and around the world) as dear friends and creations of God and seeking to treat and serve them as such, standing up against injustices carried out against these friends and family, and worshiping God and growing deeper with Him, together.

To me, that’s what community is all about. We were created to be relational, and we were created to be in community. I long for true community in my church. I desire to live out community in our world. Dick Staub talks about being ambassadors and building bridges. Another book I recently read, Same Kind of Different As Me, also discusses what it means to live the Gospel and intentionally seek relationships. Blogs like Charity’s are challenging me to evaluate how good a steward I am of every aspect of my life. My thoughts are churning: where do I go from here?

I’m considering what all of this means in terms of outreach, and I have some thoughts I’ll share later on that. What strikes my heart deeply today is how can I effect transformation in my local church? Don’t get me wrong; I love my church. I love our vision of being authentic Christians. I admire our pastor who continually challenges us to live as followers of Christ, covered in the dust of our Rabbi. But true community has to come out of more than just a great vision statement or an inspiring sermon. I appreciate what Shane Claiborne has done in creating a new community. His efforts have begun a movement that is spreading across this country (and the world). I think that’s wonderful, and I hope it continues to do so. At the same time, I believe that same kind of community can - and must - occur through transforming the existing church. I firmly believe the church I attend can become that kind of community. The million dollar question I’m pondering, of course, is how.

LINKED to this Post: Pat's comments on Why didn't you warn me?